Veterans Across Generations: The Journey Home

How the experience of military service—and the challenges of returning to civilian life—have changed across generations

For generations, Americans have answered the call to serve their country. Some volunteered, others were drafted. Some served during periods of intense conflict, while others entered the military during times of relative peace. Their experiences were shaped by different wars, different expectations and a changing nation.

But for every generation of veterans, military service is only part of the story. What happens after they come home can be just as defining.

In conversations with four VetFund Foundation board members—Robert O'Neill, Dale Smith, Ned McKinley and Deborah Johnson—whose military service spans from the Vietnam era through the early 2000s, a common theme emerged: While the military experience and the resources available to veterans have changed dramatically, the transition to civilian life remains deeply personal, often complicated and not always well understood.

Their stories reveal how far we've come in supporting veterans, the contributions they continue to make and why the responsibility to serve those who served doesn't end when they take off the uniform.

A Different Time to Serve

For Robert O'Neill, the challenges of military service began before he ever entered active duty.

As an Air Force ROTC student attending college during the Vietnam War, he witnessed firsthand the hostility directed toward the military. Following the 1970 Kent State shootings, his campus ROTC office was firebombed. For the remainder of his college years, ROTC students were sometimes discouraged from wearing their uniforms, and meetings were moved or rescheduled because of safety concerns.

“We were not really welcomed on campus,” he recalled.

That hostility followed many Vietnam veterans home. Robert remembers friends who returned from service reluctant to acknowledge their military experience, fearful of the public's reaction.

Dale Smith, who entered the Navy's submarine service in 1966 and retired 26 years later, witnessed those same attitudes. After receiving his draft notice, he chose the Navy on the advice of his brother, a Marine serving in Vietnam. He went on to serve aboard several submarines, including one that surfaced at the North Pole.

Although Dale continued serving in the Navy long after the Vietnam War ended, he witnessed the challenges facing veterans of his generation as they transitioned back to civilian life. For many, leaving the military meant returning to a country deeply divided over the war.

By the time Deborah Johnson deployed to Saudi Arabia with the Wisconsin Army National Guard during Desert Shield and Desert Storm, the public's reception of returning service members had changed considerably.

Unlike many Vietnam veterans, who returned home to hostility or indifference, Desert Storm veterans were welcomed with public celebrations and recognition. But that difference in treatment sometimes created tension between the generations.

Deb remembers working in a grocery store after returning from deployment when a Vietnam veteran expressed frustration over the recognition her generation was receiving compared with his own. Her coworker informed him that she, too, had served overseas.

The encounter reflected how differently the two generations had been welcomed home. But as Deb put it, “our service is not a competition.”

Coming Home Is Not Always Coming Back

The transition from military to civilian life looks different for every veteran. For Deb, it happened more than once.

She joined the Wisconsin Army National Guard at 17 to help pay for college, moving between military training and school before deploying to Saudi Arabia in 1990.

When she returned in 1991, Nabisco had held her job, and she resumed working after just two weeks at home. Only later did she realize how difficult the adjustment had been.

“Just going to the grocery store was different because you're looking over your shoulder, your awareness is heightened, your senses are different.”

Even when families are thrilled to welcome their loved ones home, Deb noted, they cannot always understand what those veterans have experienced.

Ned McKinley, a Naval Academy graduate who completed Navy SEAL training and later served as a public affairs officer, experienced a different kind of transition when he left the Navy in 2002.

After years in an environment defined by rank, structure and clear expectations, Ned found the informality of civilian workplaces surprisingly unfamiliar.

He recalled meeting the general manager at a Target distribution center, who simply introduced himself by his first name.

“Whoa, first name basis,” he remembered thinking.

Looking back, Ned can laugh about those small adjustments, but even the simplest interactions took some getting used to after years in the military.

But Ned also spoke about another aspect of military life that can be difficult to reconcile with civilian responsibilities: family.

He ultimately chose to leave the SEAL teams to focus on his marriage and be more present for his children, a decision he remembers as both painful and necessary.

His experience is a reminder that military service affects more than the individual wearing the uniform. Spouses, children and families also navigate the demands of deployment, separation and reintegration.

The Challenges Veterans Didn't Talk About

One of the most striking differences across generations is not necessarily what veterans experienced, but how comfortable they felt talking about it afterward.

Robert recalls that Vietnam-era veterans often avoided discussing their service entirely.

“It was a period of life where you just said, ‘That's it, I'm not part of it,’ and you didn't talk about it,” Robert recalled. “That's just the way it was. It was all buttoned up.”

He sees a significant difference in younger generations of veterans, who are more willing to talk openly about their experiences. Robert believes changing public attitudes toward military service, particularly since September 11, along with improvements in healthcare and treatment for veterans, have helped make those conversations easier.

For Dale, that reluctance to speak up extended to injuries and medical concerns during military service. He remembers a time when service members received little guidance about documenting injuries or understanding the disability benefits available to them. Instead, they were expected to push through.

“You know, back in the day when we were in, it was toughen up and suck it up,” he recalled.

That mindset had consequences long after service ended, particularly for veterans who didn't understand the benefits available to them.

For Deb and many of her fellow Desert Storm veterans, the reluctance to talk about their experiences came from a different place. Unlike the Vietnam era, the Gulf War unfolded on television, giving Americans a front-row seat to events overseas. But watching the war wasn't the same as experiencing it. Deb remembers that when veterans returned home, there was little curiosity about what they had been through. Instead, the people around them seemed ready for life to return to normal.

“I don't think it was that we wanted to move on so much, but the people around us wanted us to move on,” she explained.

For many veterans, that meant returning to everyday life without much opportunity to talk about experiences that had fundamentally changed them.

More Resources, but Not Always an Easier Road

All four veterans recognized significant improvements in the support available to those leaving military service.

Formal transition assistance programs, expanded healthcare, greater awareness of disability benefits and stronger outreach have helped veterans navigate the move into civilian life.

Dale remembers receiving only a brief transition class before retiring from the Navy.

“We didn't have any of that. Even when I got out, we didn't have much of it,” he said of the resources available today.

He also recalled waiting decades before filing a disability claim, largely because he didn't understand the benefits available to him.

Today, Dale uses that experience to help other veterans avoid the same difficulties. Through his involvement with the Veterans of Foreign Wars, he regularly encourages active-duty service members to document injuries and medical concerns before leaving the military, knowing how much that information can matter when applying for benefits later.

Ned described a similar experience. Although he received transition assistance before leaving the Navy, he delayed filing his disability claim for years. It wasn't until a deputy secretary at the California Department of Veterans Affairs (CalVet) repeatedly encouraged him that he finally took action.

“It was that personal touch that finally got me to do it,” he recalled.

Today, he tries to offer that same encouragement to other veterans.

But Ned also raised concerns about inconsistencies in the quality of assistance veterans receive when navigating disability claims. Knowing the right person or finding a knowledgeable representative can make a significant difference.

For women veterans, access to appropriate services has presented additional challenges.

Deb was among approximately 40,000 American women who deployed during the Gulf War, a period she believes helped open doors for women to serve in expanded military roles.

“What they found is we were successful,” she said. “And we were needed and we were necessary.”

Despite the contributions of women during the Gulf War, the VA healthcare system had not fully adapted to their needs. Deb recalls visiting VA facilities and being asked whether she was there for her husband or as a caretaker, rather than being recognized as a veteran herself.

She credits her generation with helping improve women's healthcare within the VA, but gaps remain. After more than 30 years working with veterans, including those experiencing homelessness, she remains particularly concerned about access to emergency mental healthcare.

“There's mental healthcare available, but we don't go into crisis Monday through Friday from 8am to 3:30pm when the clinic is open,” she explained.

She also pointed to difficulties coordinating care between VA facilities and civilian healthcare providers, particularly when veterans seek emergency treatment.

Dale is particularly encouraged by California's efforts, crediting CalVet's leadership and the involvement of veterans themselves in strengthening programs and services.

“I would say that California, the CalVet system is probably as good as any of the states have,” he said.

Still, their experiences show that making resources available is only part of the equation. Veterans also need to know how to access them and receive timely, effective assistance when they do.

More Than Their Military Service

While conversations about veterans often focus on the challenges they face, Robert believes another part of their story deserves more attention.

He expressed concern about the tendency to portray veterans primarily through the lens of homelessness, addiction or mental health challenges. Those issues are real and deserve attention, but they don't represent the full picture of veterans' lives.

Robert emphasized that veterans are often successful members of their communities whose military backgrounds go unnoticed. “You don't even know it because they don't advertise it,” he explained.

The four veterans' own lives illustrate his point.

Following his Air Force service, Robert built a career in government leadership and consulting, including serving as Director of the California State Lottery and Executive Director of the Little Hoover Commission.

After retiring from the Navy, Dale put his technical experience to work alongside another Navy veteran in a laser printer repair business. The two eventually became partners, and Dale later purchased the company, running it for more than a decade. He also continued serving fellow veterans through the Veterans of Foreign Wars, including as California State Commander.

Ned's career took him from the Navy into California state government and military affairs, where his work has included supporting service members and veterans through policy and government relations.

Deb went on to spend more than three decades serving veterans, including through her work with the Veterans Assistance Foundation, where she helped veterans experiencing homelessness and other challenges. She also served as California VFW State Commander in 2024–2025 and has participated in national legislative advocacy.

Their careers reflect the many ways veterans continue contributing to their communities long after military service ends.

Military experience can shape leadership, discipline, resilience and a commitment to service that carries into civilian life. Yet those contributions aren't always visible, particularly when veterans don't publicly identify themselves by their military backgrounds.

Recognizing veterans means understanding not only the challenges they may face, but also the skills, experiences and perspectives they bring to civilian life.

What Connects Veterans Across Generations

Despite their different experiences, the veterans shared a strong sense of connection to others who served.

Robert compared that bond to alumni who played on the same college football team decades apart. Though separated by time and circumstance, they understand and respect what each other has been through.

Dale expressed a similar sentiment when discussing the occasional divisions he still sees among veterans from different eras. While he recognizes that each generation faced its own challenges, he doesn't believe those differences should diminish anyone's service.

“We're all veterans. It doesn't make any difference,” he said.

Ned also values the connections among veterans, recalling how much he appreciated working alongside other former service members after leaving the Navy.

For Deb, the evolution of how Americans recognize veterans is especially meaningful.

She has noticed that younger generations don't always make the same assumptions about who can be a veteran.

When she participates in parades wearing a Desert Storm veteran shirt, children readily recognize and thank her for her service, just as they do the men standing beside her. Yet when she wears that same shirt alongside her husband, she sometimes finds that adults direct their appreciation toward him instead.

As Deb explained, “kids don’t see that difference because they’ve grown up with women in the military.”

It's a small but meaningful example of how perceptions can change from one generation to the next.

Honoring Service Means Supporting the Journey Home

The stories of these four veterans reflect both the progress America has made and the challenges that remain.

Veterans today have access to programs, healthcare and benefits that previous generations could scarcely have imagined. Public recognition of military service has grown, and greater awareness of the physical and emotional effects of service has helped reduce some of the barriers veterans once faced.

Yet access alone is not enough. Veterans still need guidance navigating complex systems, support in finding meaningful employment, healthcare that meets their needs and communities willing to listen to their experiences.

Robert offered a simple piece of advice to those preparing to leave the military: “look for them and take advantage of them,” referring to the resources available to support their transition.

For the VetFund Foundation, these stories reinforce the importance of continued advocacy, education and partnerships that help California veterans and their families thrive long after military service ends.

They also serve as a reminder that veterans are more than their military experiences or the challenges they may face. They are business owners, public servants, advocates, neighbors and community leaders whose contributions continue to shape the world around us.

Each generation of veterans inherits a different world from the one before it. Our responsibility is to make that world a little better for those who follow.

Because every generation of veterans has a story worth hearing, and every veteran deserves support on the journey home.